When I used to look up to the sky and pray and nothing changed, it was easy to believe that the sky was empty and that God did not exist. But, one day, I found that the sky is not as empty as we think and that God can be found there.
I had adopted my sister’s four children, ages 2-6, when she died unexpectedly. For three years, I was a stay-at-home mother, with a husband who worked to provide for all of us. Then one day, he came home at noon, and he asserted that he was tired of taking care of other people’s children. He told me to get a job, because he was not working any more.
Weeks went by without me finding work. Feeling major blue, I started to wonder if prayers really are answered, forgetting that God had kept me from breaking my neck when an earlier boyfriend had hit me so hard that I landed on the hood of a car. Spiritual amnesia happens when there is a period of calm and prosperity between trials.
So, when my fear of not being able to care for my children reached desperation, I started to think that God doesn’t really hear us. Then, one day, as I cleaned the house during a storm, I began to feel that my troubles, like the storm clouds that filled the sky, would never end.
But, as I stared into the clouds with a heavy heart, the clouds suddenly parted, and I saw the sun, all optimistic yellow, shining just above the storm clouds. It was as if God were speaking to me, for in my spirit I suddenly knew that if I could just weather the storm a little while longer, the sun would shine again in my life and my troubles would be over.
Even though God seemed silent, somehow I comprehended in that moment that He was with me, though I sometimes couldn’t feel Him or see Him at work. Within another two weeks, I had a job, and my life has never been the same. I may not eat caviar, but I have what I need. My faith in God’s love stems from my belief that the sky and nature have much to teach us, if we would only look up and learn.
Written for Sunday Writing Prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie: the sky and God.